In order to understand the type of exchange we are encouraging it is important to make a distinction between two commonly used words – ‘conversation’ and ‘discussion’. They are often thought of as one and the same thing but they are, in fact, quite different. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest understanding of the word ‘conversation’ comes from its Latin root where it implies a place of habitation, a home where those ‘in conversation’ share a common life. It appears that the transfer of meaning from ‘living with’ to ‘talking with’ is relatively recent.
A conversation may be helpfully described as:

• a verbal exploration of ideas, beliefs, values and meanings.
• a meeting of hearts and minds where personal truth is shared.
• a place of safety where what is considered important has the opportunity to be spoken without fear of judgement, ridicule or recrimination.
• an occasion of loving attention where whatever is said is received, respected and acknowledged.
• a forum in which what is strongly believed may be gently challenged without fear or regret.
• a place of risk and tentative personal disclosure.
• an interpersonal journey undertaken by friends who are prepared to be changed by what they may discover.

Compare all this to the original meaning of the word ‘discussion’. It comes from a very different root – the Latin word ‘discutere’ which literally means to “dash to pieces”. A discussion, then, is not the coming together of those seeking understanding it is the clash of adversaries who wish to judge or examine an issue by argument. In groups gathered to explore such sensitive issues as life experience and personal beliefs, what we need to develop is not a discussion, but a true conversation – something to which we can all contribute.